The Birth Story of Kahlo Robert Becerra

On Thursday, April 30, 2009 I lost my mucous plug – an unattractive yet encouraging step towards going into labor. I was 40 ½ weeks along. They say that after you lose your mucous plug, it can be anywhere from hours to a week that you will go into labor. So of course we were happy to see progress being made since I hadn’t dilated at all so far. That evening, Knox and I took a nice long walk around the neighborhood, a practice that had become customary over the last couple of weeks in hopes of getting labor started. That night, Knox predicted that my labor would be a really quick one.

I was having contractions pretty regularly, but they weren’t hurting much, so I figured they were still good old Braxton Hicks that’d I’d been having since I was about 7 months along. We went to bed at around 11pm and promptly at midnight, I woke up to a REAL contraction…certainly no Braxton Hicks this time around. I didn’t want to be one of those moms that jumped out of bed and called in the birthing troops right away, in case it was a false alarm, but DAMN this one hurt! So, another four minutes later, another killer contraction, then another and another, all an average of about three minutes apart. Knox and I were not handling them well because it came on all too strong and I’m not really sure that Knox believed that I was truly in labor. It was overwhelming to say the least.

Soon he realized that I was really in a lot of pain and not managing them very well and he wasn’t too sure how to help me. So he called my folks, Ashley and Bridgette, my doulas and best friends.

At around 2:00am everyone began to arrive. As soon as Ashley arrived, she took charge and helped Knox get control of the situation instantly, including my ability to breathe through each contraction steadily and easily. In typical Ashley way, everything changes when she walks into a room.

Suddenly, I was a labor master. I was breathing, releasing and visualizing. Naturally, the contractions were nowhere near the level of pain that I’d feel later, but I was finally learning to manage. Ashley and Knox now knew how best to help me and Bridgette began timing.

The three of them worked in effortless tandem to help me through each contraction and I was feeling extremely positive. Bridgette called the midwives and they assessed the situation and decided that they didn’t need to come just yet as my contractions were just a little more than three minutes apart, and they’d come when that gap had closed a bit.

Finally, Friday morning in the 10 o’clock hour, the midwife Lorri, and her assistant, Regina arrived. I’d been powering through for ten hours at that point, so I was certain that I’d made really good progress. When Lorri checked my cervix I was completely effaced, but my cervix had not dilated on single centimeter. It’s easy to imagine my dismay, however, I remained unshakably positive.

So, she asked if I’d ever had a freezing done to my cervix (a procedure often done to kill pre-cancerous cells in the cervix) and in fact I had a freezing done about a decade ago. She thought that perhaps I had scar tissue and she was planning to just bust right through it. Not really painful compared to the contractions I’d been feeling, she opened up my cervix and I was instantly at four centimeters dilated. Finally progress!!

Encouraged and enthusiastic about continuing on this journey, we kept trucking. Lorri was a bit concerned that I might be getting exhausted, so she had me drink a little red wine and finally gave me something to encourage my body to sleep between contractions. I was able to doze between contractions, which had slowed down to be every four or five minutes.

This may have been on of the oddest parts of labor so far, (not that it’s not all entirely bizarre and surreal…it is) but having the odd twilight dreams that come with sleep deprivation and the fact that I was amidst a life-changing rite of passage, made for a REALLY peculiar experience. I’d go from dreaming about mice in costumes or word puzzles or frogs dancing, to waking up to a pain like I’d never known. The back and forth between sleep-dreaming and awakening to pain was somewhat disconcerting to say the least.

Later that day, I had progressed to six centimeters. We kept working hard and I still was calm.

Knox and I took a Bradley birthing method class in preparation for our labor and our coach showed us a video of a woman in labor that we frankly did not believe was in labor. She would take big deep breaths and exhale with a deliberate moan. She didn’t appear to be in pain at all. Knox reminded me of that video and told me that I was handling it like that lady…I was truly encouraged.

Ashley and Bridgette were utter saints and both knew exactly how to help me. Without them, I don’t know if I could have done it so easily. They encouraged Knox so he could support me and they were right there for me with every single rush of pain. It was primal and to have two of my goddess girls with me the entire time allowed me to know that my life had led up to this exact moment.

We tried many different positions: leaning on Knox, Ash or Bridgette, in the water, on my side, on the toilet, but none seemed to work as well as walking. We walked non-stop and I’d lean on whoever was there when a contraction came. Someone else would rub my back and they would talk me through it. Knox was a true partner…always there and always so sweet.

Throughout, my contractions were HARD and LONG, but didn’t seem to get closer together. The midwife had me get in the shower and let the warm water rush over my nipples, as nipple stimulation encourages labor. Ashley got in the shower with me and Bridgette timed. This break gave Knox a chance to rest and eat although I’m not sure if he actually did rest or eat.

We thought we’d been progressing so well. Next check I was still at six centimeters. We persevered, not getting discouraged. Next check, six centimeters.

The midwife, Lorri, left to go deliver another baby and Angela came with Breann, her assistant.

I’d had a couple of IV’s because I needed to be administered an antibiotic for having Strep B, something about 40% of the population carries. It’s not dangerous for the mom, but could cause respiratory issues for the baby. This caused me to have to urinate constantly and each time I did, I’d have a horrible contraction. Once I got my third IV, I was pretty miserable in the bladder region.

Both Lorri and Angela felt like the baby kept moving around and was flopping between sunny side up and the proper position. Sunny side up means that the front of the baby’s body is facing up but is not ideal. Woman can deliver this way, but it makes it more difficult.

After yet another check of my cervix, I was still only six centimeters. Nighttime had fallen again and suddenly it was Saturday. Angela decided that the baby was finally in a good position and she wanted to break my water to get the labor moving and it felt amazing. The warmth of that fluid rushing all over my body was relaxing and cleansing.

Knox and I got in the shower again with Ashley by our side. Then, we used the breast pump to get my nipples stimulated enough to get the contractions closer together. We tried it all, but alas by the next check of my cervix, I had not progressed at all. My contractions were utterly irregular still.

Angela said that she let me go another few hours but eventually, if I did not progress, we’d have to consider going to Kaiser. It was around 1am that we finally decided that I could not go on working this hard and not progressing. I had become too exhausted both physically and emotionally, as had everyone else. Knox, Ashley, Bridgette, my parents and Knox’s mom, Gail, all agreed that it was time to go. I just could not bear to hear that I was at six centimeters again.

So, I was off to Kaiser. Ashley and Bridgette got my clothes together and my mom got baby stuff ready. We walked outside early Saturday morning and it was raining. It was an odd perfection…rain early on the May morning that my son would be born.

Once we got to Kaiser, we were warmly greeted. Angela called ahead and let them know the entire story so they were already debriefed and prepared for me. I got into a room very quickly. When I was still at the house, I continued having problems urinating. Each time I’d try, I would have a terrible contraction and nothing came out. After all of the IV fluid I’d had, my bladder was extremely full and causing pressure problems, BIG TIME. So I pretty much demanded a catheter STAT and they complied, thank goodness. I practically filled up an entire bag.

They gave me yet another IV and took blood so they could do a blood panel to decide if I was a candidate for an epidural. They wanted to give me patocin to get my cervix dilated but wouldn’t do it without an epidural since patocin contractions are so much more painful than contractions without patocin. As it was, my contractions were incredibly long and hard. Soon, I was in the clear to get an epidural.

Throughout my pregnancy, I was really against having an epidural as a matter of course. Under the circumstances, I had resigned myself to needing it. It had been 27 hours of hard contractions and I trusted Angela and the Kaiser staff when they said that my body was too exhausted and if I wanted to deliver this baby, I’d need help.

Dr. Wong, the anesthesiologist, came in and administered my epidural. I had been terrified of having a needle in my spine, but in the end, it was pretty painless and easy. I got a second wind and felt that I could now handle the contractions. They gave me the patocin drip and they started getting closer together. I was really uncomfortable because they wouldn’t let me lay on my side and they wouldn’t let me lay on my back…I had to lay kinda in between. It was really hard to relax and sleep in such an odd position. My contractions were still hurting, although nothing like before. The epidural was worth it to me because I was convinced that the patocin would work. The baby was kicking my ribs terribly and the epidural didn’t numb that high, so I was dealing with that pain as well.

Ultimately, somehow, I was able to rest for a couple of hours. The Kaiser midwife came in to check me again a little after 6:00 am Saturday morning. The moment of truth.

Six centimeters.

Not possible…really?? HOW?

Shortly, the doctor came in and told us that she was recommending a cesarean section. The baby was not in distress yet, but his heart rate was flat. The baby was getting exhausted and my body was too. She said that normally, she’d allow a laboring mom to stay stuck at six centimeters for about 4 hours and I’d been there for 20.

I instantly surrendered to the decision. My dear, sweet husband had a harder time with it. He had a vision of the c-section being really barbaric. Through his tears, he did agree that it was the right thing to do, but it was a hard pill to swallow to say the least.

By 6:30am, I was wheeled off to the operating room. On the way, I looked at Knox and had the realization, “We’re about to meet our baby.” It was such a relief and the anticipation was incredible. After I was prepped, they brought Knox in and by 7:17am, our son was born. “It’s a boy!” the doctor exclaimed and we cried and laughed like never before. It was the most important and profound moment of our lives. Through my tears, I laughed saying, “You guys were all wrong!” because almost everyone was sure that the baby was a girl.

Knox got to cut the umbilical chord of course. I asked him what color his hair was. “Black!” he muddle through his tears. Lots of tears. He was finally here!

They brought the baby to us after he’d been cleaned up and intubated (apparently, he had a very small amount of meconium on him but none in his lungs). They placed him on my chest and we knew we had to choose between “Knox” and “Kahlo” for his name. We felt that we’d decide when and if we had a boy. Here he was. Decision time. He was hardly crying and seemed so very peaceful, which I associated with the name Kahlo. Knox seemed like a much more aggressive name somehow. Together, we settled on Kahlo and so it was…little, peaceful and free Kahlo, reunited with us. It was absolutely surreal and miraculous. He was here with us, after 40.5 weeks of pregnancy, 31 hours since I’d gone into labor, and a lifetime of wondering who would choose me to be their mom.

Kahlo Robert Becerra was born at 7:17am on Saturday, May 2, 2009. He weighed 7lbs. 15 ounces and was 20 ½ inches long.

The irony is that my mom’s birth story with me is absolutely identical, except that she got stuck at three centimeters rather than six. I guess everything came full circle.

After being sewn back up, I was off to the recovery room where Knox and I had some alone time with him. He was instantly trying to nurse as soon as he was back on my chest. The nurse helped me with breastfeeding and ultimately, he’s now a breastfeeding champ. Daddy went out to the waiting room to break the news to the family and finally, made our way to our own room. We spent one night at the hospital. After a day and a half, we asked to be released and although it was premature in terms of regular Kaiser practice, they let us go. As much as I loved the food (read sarcasm) we really needed to go home.

We’re in complete bliss. There are not words that can explain the joy and love that we feel. Although the journey was a tough one, it was 100% worth every single moment of pain and bliss. It feels like Kahlo’s always been here with us, just waiting in the wings to make his debut. He’s perfection in every way. I know that every parent says that about their child, but I guess we all need to witness a little perfection in our lives.

Baby Boy!!!!

Kahlo Robert Becerra born May 2nd 2009 @ 7:17am 7lbs 15 oz 20.5in, we had a crazy labor and experienced so many wonderful aspects of birth. Mommy and baby are resting comfortably.....more to come........

my hands are shrinking, according to my cousin jeff...

so according to my wise and esteemed cousin, jeff, my hands are shrinking. if you notice in the weekly belly shots, my hands are covering my boobs in most of them...clearly it's my hands shrinking because my boobs could not possibly be getting that big. thank you for clearing that up jeff. what a relief...

West Coast McBaby Shower Tour '09

Well, time for some updates people!! It's been a crazy month for Daddy Jazz and Mama Jazz and of course the beloved Mcbaby. February was baby shower month and Tobias wanted to make sure we had everything taken care of well in advance, this is Tobi we are talking about here people. Tobi wanted to be comfortable and for the most part she wanted to be able to walk, touche! Because Tobi has a group of friends and family the size of a small village (pun intended) we had multiple showers to attend.
Enter: West Coast McBaby Shower Tour '09
(tour shirts will be available for purchase on the blog soon!!)
Tour Dates:
February 7th 2009 Location: West Coast Dance Academy, Mission Viejo
February 21st 2009 Location: Peterson Proper, Lafayette
February 22nd 2009 Location: McCahan Manor, La Selva Beach

Like all good rock bands we had to start the tour off with a bang in our home county. With the help of our trusty roadies, Grandma and Grandpa Becerra, Auntie Nichol, Auntie A and Jordan, Jenny and the beautiful West Coast Dance Academy, we had a wonderful shower filled with tons of love, tasty tacos and unbelievable cake! The beer chugging challenge was the highlight of the shower, to this date no one knows who won, but the only thing that really matters is that everyone had a good time chugging beer from a baby bottle. You cant have a Becerra-Sondgroth baby shower without baby bottle beer chugging. We just have to say thank you to everyone that attended and showered us with love and inspiration, we love you all!

After an amazing open to our West Coast Tour, we headed north to the bay area to close out the tour with back to back showers. We packed up the tour bus and headed north on highway 5. Like all tours, we had some fun on the road together, because the road is hard and the road is tough, so you gotta pass the time with lots of laughs and adventures. At about 1:30 in the afternoon on February 21st just south of Chaney Ranch (no relation to Dick!) we rescued a sheep from instant death after the poor thing had jumped over a fence and was wondering aimlessly on the side of the south bound 5 freeway. We tried our hardest to round up Bawwwbie the sheep, but we were not quick enough. We contacted CHP to let them know of the situation at hand, according to cousin Ian who was an hour behind us, the CHP hand arrived to save the day. Disclaimer: no sheep were injured during the West Coast McBaby Shower Tour '09.
We arrived at Peterson Proper ready to rock, with only three hours to rehearse and tune up. Our trusty roadies, Linda Lee, Ben, Katie, Will the Grill a.k.a this guy knows how to party Peterson, Kenny P and Sammykins all put forth their best efforts to make this shower a hit. The original plan for the shower events, other than the fabulous party atmosphere provided by the Peterson's, was a blessing of the belly. Auntie Ashley was going to conduct a special blessing incorporating all of the attendees. Unfortunately Auntie Ashley had a late night arrival after being with her family after Great Uncle Gary suffered a heart attack, but luckily Great Uncle Gary is at home resting comfortably after triple bypass. So Auntie Ashley was not able to perform the blessing. Enter: Mr. Bill, no not Mr. Bill the play-dough mess of a man, but Bill Glenn the extraordinaire, leader of all things simply fabulous! Bill led the group in a vast array of song, poetry and simple blessings. The evening was amazing and the abundance of love was engulfing. Thank you Lafayette and good night!

February 22nd 2009 we start the final leg of the West Coast McBaby Shower Tour heading south in the pouring rain to La Selva Beach, McCahan Manor! We arrived still intoxicated by the previous night's electricity to find our trusty roadies Grandma Sukie, Grandpa Bobby, Grandma Rosie and great cousin Margaret had the show ready to go, no time to rehearse or tune up. Show Time! This would be a double headliner show, with not only one pregnant couple, but two. Who could have imagined the cousins, Tobias and Jennifer both being pregnant with due dates a day apart. It's almost as if they planned this pregnancy conspiracy. The shower included lots of tasty foods; pickles, olives, potato salad, veggies, chips and dips, fun & games and a detailed blogography quiz. Yes my friends a blogography quiz!! Courtesy of Jeff and Margaret, the blogography quiz was a blast, who knew people actually read our baby blog? Who spent all their waking hours studying the Little Jazzy Crumbsnatcher weblog thoroughly enough to get all the questions correct?.....no one! We did have plenty of top contenders, but no one more deserving then Grandpa Bobby. After a tandem gift opening session, which did include my new handy dandy power washer (it's a long story) we packed up the tour bus a long drive home on Sunday night. Heading south on highway 1, we realized that the short but sweet weekend filled with laughs, lots of amazing gifts for our blooming baby and a well filled with love, would probably be our last road trip together, alone, in peace......our lives would never be the same again.

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Who Knew?

It's been a new learning experience, the joys of pregnancy! Awaiting fatherhood is like no other feeling on earth at least until the little bean is born. You can think about the day, for days, and wonder what you may feel the day you find out you'll soon be a father. But nothing ever prepares you. You realize, wow! I'm going to be father, but all the talk and excitement never really set in, until that first ultra sound, until your wife's belly begins to grow, until that little bean starts kicking the crap out of your wife's ribcage.
My dad and I spent Saturday morning in Babies R Us exchanging our changing table and he asked me "Dude has any of this even set in?" it was probably the glazed look on my face or maybe just the fact that I was up at 9:30 and standing in Babies R Us that invoked the the question. My response was "you can never really be prepared for this experience, once it starts, everything goes out the window". I can read all the books necessary, and make all the changes needed to our home, and take all the baby preparation class, but until our baby is born, we can never know enough. What I do know is that Tobi has been a champ, other then a couple late night cherry pie runs, a pantry full of macaroni n cheese and the occasional foot massage, she has been absolutely fabulous!!! Did I mention, there is nothing sexier than a pregnant wife!! FYI...This has nothing to due with the extended mammary glands. Just knowing that Tobi has taken on this task, to carry our child for 10 months, go through a complete body metamorphosis and tackle the most grueling pain she will ever encounter is the sweetest and most loving gift any man can ever receive, thank you Tobias, I love you with all of my heart!